BAREFOOT ON THE BEACH

Jesse Pettit and Tesha Christensen join destination wedding trend

I've never been the kind of girl who dreamed about getting married in a church.

No, a blue sky held more allure than vaulted ceilings. A carefree ceremony called to me more than a regimented order of processional, vows, rings, unity candle and recessional. An intimate gathering held more meaning than a large, lavish affair.
Barefoot on the beach was where I wanted to be.
It didn't take me long to decide to be part of a growing trend; I wanted a destination wedding.
Faced with the prospect of luxurious affairs that not only require a fat bank account but years of planning, many couples are choosing to elope – and they are bringing their loved ones with them.
Whereas most used to go to Las Vegas to tie the knot without a lot of fuss, today couples wed on a volcano in Hawaii, during a cruise ship stop in the Bahamas, in a winery in California, or at a chateau in the Alps. Others take it to the extreme with a ceremony underwater, up a mountaintop, or followed by a bungee jump.
I didn't feel the urge to go that crazy. But I did want the experience to be something we would both remember forever. I wanted it to be new and exciting. I wanted our destination wedding to reflect the journey we were embarking upon together for the rest of our lives.

CHOOSING THE LOCATION
There were a few things I knew I wanted as I began researching locations a year prior. I wanted it to be on a beach (I don't know, but Kenny Chesney must have gotten to me). I wanted it to be a casual affair, meaning I wasn't going to create a wedding there like I would have at home – i.e. no party favors, no band, no guest list over 200, no bridesmaids or groomsmen, no tuxedos or matching dresses, no elaborate cake with engraved cake cutters, no fancy sit-down dinner with a menu I'd labor over for months, no matching white chairs lined up perfectly with an aisle runner in the middle, no aisle decorations and no confetti.
I wanted to go someplace I'd never been before. I wanted it to be relatively inexpensive. And I wanted it to be laidback.
I initially checked out Bermuda, Italy and the Bahamas; looked into what a few cruise ships offered; and then focused in on the Caribbean.
I narrowed my choice to Mexico's Yutacan Pennisula or the island of Ambergris Caye in Belize, and then bought travel books on both. I also researched legal requirements. Mexico requires chest x-rays and blood tests upon arrival; however, there are no waiting periods or residency requirements. But as I'm not fluent in Spanish, I'd also need the assistance of a translator or wedding planner.
In Belize, the national language is English. The waiting period is five days and the residency requirement three days, but a local officiant can get the license faster.
When I read about the traditional lazzo ceremony in Belize, my choice was made. During a lazzo ceremony, a decorative garland is used to symbolically unite the couple for a lifetime of everlasting love. A picture I saw showed a couple and officiant standing in the center of a palm leaf circle on the beach.
That was exactly what I envisioned.
Next, I began researching specific hotels. I read everything Trip Advisor had to offer, found an online Ambergris Caye forum (ambergriscaye.com/forum), and browsed the county's many travel web sites (www.goambergriscaye.com, www.travelbelize.org). I read the local newspapers (both stories and ads).
I thought long and hard about the type of experience I wanted to offer our guests. I decided upon one that would give them a range of experiences. Instead of choosing a private resort far off the beaten track, I picked one within a five-minute walk of town. This way, those who wanted more action could have it, and head to town for its nightlife and range of shops. I didn't want to tie everyone to the resort's restaurant, knowing it would be one of the priciest ones, and being within walking distance ensured we didn't have to hire taxis to get everywhere.

SENDING OUT INVITATIONS
When we told people about the wedding, we said we'd love it if they wanted to come along, but we were holding a reception back home when we returned in case they couldn't afford it.
We initially expected 30 to 35 to make the trip with us, based on the responses we heard. The number was whittled down to 13 by the time it came to actually purchasing tickets and plunking down the necessary $1,000+ a piece for airfare and a week's lodging.
In retrospect, I think our size of 15 was perfect. It was just getting to be a group that was hard to keep track of at the peak, and many more might have lead to chaos – or at least more organization on my part. And I was there to relax.
I had initially envisioned sending out elaborate invitations in a bottle, but decided figuring out how to mail those would be a nightmare. Instead, I opted for sending out an email to everyone letting them know the prices I'd found for airfare and the hotel. Then I put all the information I'd gathered about flights, hotels and the country online at our personal web site.

EXPLAINING OUR CHOICE
There were those who didn't understand why we weren't doing the traditional wedding. To those people, we pointed out we were saving money by not paying for a church or reception hall, cake, florist, videographer, or soloist. We were also doing something exciting, and combining my love of travel with our wedding. Plus, neither of us are the traditional sort of people, and we wanted something that would be more carefree and fun.
Some accepted our reasons. Others didn't.

FINDING VENDORS
Planning a wedding thousands of miles away proved challenging, to say the least.
While I could have opted to hire a wedding coordinator, I chose to save money and do the work myself, knowing there wasn't much I required.
What we needed was a location, a minister, a license and a photographer. That was it.
Finding a photographer was simple. There were three listed on the island's web site, and I was immediately stuck by the talent evidenced by one. And she was available. I sent Kay Scott the deposit via PayPal, and a sample of pictures I liked via email. Then I marked photographer off my ToDo list.
We soon discovered our resort wasn't easy to work with, and had learned it could make a lot of money off weddings. Thus, we struck them off our list, and instead focused on finding our own officiant. It took awhile to find contact information, but we were finally linked up to Reverend David Simpson via another couple who used the online message board I was frequenting for tips.
He was difficult to reach via phone, and checked his email even less, so we left for Belize on May 24 knowing we (likely) had an officiant set up and that was it. We'd never gotten around to getting a copy of the paperwork or the ceremony he used, and had not sent a deposit.
I have to admit, even I was a bit nervous.
I didn't want to have invited guests and then discover we couldn't get the paperwork in time to get married legally. But I had a back-up plan. There was always the Isanti County Courthouse and a justice of the peace for a quick, easy solution back home, if necessary.
It turns out, I didn't need to worry at all. We met with Rev. Simpson our first night in Belize, and met him again two nights later to fill out the paperwork. He suggested a few different locations, but we stumbled upon the perfect spot ourselves.
Following the recommendation of a travel book, we ate breakfast our first morning at Estel's on the beach. I fell in love with their mango-filled fryjacks and their view. Jesse loved their laidback atmosphere. No shirt, no shoes, no problem. When we dropped by again a few days before the wedding, our waiter nonchalantly noted we could have our wedding on their beach if we wanted. Plus, they'd be more than happy to fry up the fish the guys planned to catch the morning of the ceremony. And, they'd make up a pitcher of sangria and a five-gallon bucket of rum punch. All for $8 a plate.
We'd found the spot.

GUESTS ON A HONEYMOON?
The whole idea of bringing my nearest and dearest to an exotic place and spending a week together leading up to the wedding making memories sounded wonderful to me. One day always seemed too short. But if you could stretch that out and have fun with each other before and after, well that would be something to remember.
But in some ways, it felt to my husband like we were bringing everyone along on our honeymoon. To alleviate that feeling, we let our guests know there were days and meals when we would do our own thing, knowing they would understand why.
I also set up the itinerary so that we left Ramon's on Ambergris Caye two days after the wedding and journeyed to a different resort on the mainland, Jaguar Paw, for the last five days of our stay. With the physical break, our guests knew they were welcome to stay longer and enjoy their own company, or head home.
Of course, once we got down to San Pedro, it wasn't an issue. We enjoyed dining every evening with all of our guests. We ranged from a small group of six to a large group of 15 the last few days. Each night we set off for a different restaurant, enjoying the wide culinary range the island offered.
We typically met each morning for breakfast, as well, although we didn't plan a time to meet.
With most of the guests staying on the same cozy resort it was easy to connect.
On the days we had big excursions planned (a trip to the Mayan ruin Lamanai or cave tubing), we set up a time to meet the evening before with those who wanted to go. All the excursions were optional events that we set up while we were down there. Other days, each person was free to shop, lay on the beach, or explore the island via golf cart. We tried to strike a balance between planned excursions and just plain relaxation. We were at the beach, after all! For us that meant two all-day trips inland and two half-day fishing excursions during our 11-day stay on Ambergris Caye.
The constant coming and going of guests made planning our excursions a little more challenging, but it also made each day before the wedding a little more exciting. Each new guest brought fresh energy. When folks began leaving, we relaxed a little more and more, retreating into our private quarters.

THE BIG DAY
I woke up on May 30, 2008, the day of the ceremony, and caught the first hint of trouble when I realized our air conditioner wasn't on. Oh, no. The power, which was out late last night, still hadn't come back on. We'd had brief outages since our arrival on the island (although the story differed depending on who told it, the government and the power company were having disagreements), but none lasted more than a few hours.
We got up, the guys went out fishing, and us girls headed to the beach. At least, we tried to. That's when I realized I might not have the perfect sunny day, after all. We had brief spurts of sunshine, but the sky was overcast and it rained for much of the day.
Three hours before the wedding – when the power was still out and I hadn't gotten a shower because of it – I about lost it.
My aunt said God listens to a bride's tears because it was about then that the rain slowed and the power miraculously came back on. We had just enough time to get five women and one bride ready, and then we hopped into a taxi for the short drive to Estel's.
The agony of the last few hours faded away when I saw my husband-to-be. He and the guys had chopped down the palm leaves and prepared a circle on the beach; they were ready for the wedding to start.
I took off my shoes and we walked down in the sand, just as the last drops of rain fell.
The ceremony was beautiful. We made it ours by reading to each other a list we'd each prepared earlier: I love you because ….
When the minister said, "I present Tesha and Jesse Pettit," I looked out and saw the faces of my nearest and dearest, the adventurous group who we'd had such fun with all week, and I didn't think the day could get any better.

TRASHING THE DRESS
Then we surprised them all.
We hopped into the ocean and got wet.
We were enjoying ourselves so much I didn't realize how much my mother-in-law, her friend Peggy, and a few others freaked out the first few steps we took into the waves. It turned out to be their favorite part of the trip.
Local photographer Connie Nordrum of Harris had introduced me to the idea of trashing the dress a year prior. The pictures I saw online looked great, and I knew Jesse and I would have a blast getting wet. Buying a dress that cost only $40 got rid of the rest of the misgivings I had.
We're both glad we "trashed the dress."
Only, the dress was just fine after a good dry cleaning. So great, in fact, that I wore it to the Minnesota reception on June 14.

MINNESOTA RECEPTION
We held our reception back home one week after we returned from Belize. In retrospect, I'd have pushed it out another week or two. I got a lot less done before we left for Belize than I had hoped, and therefore spent the week after we got home running around taking care of last-minute details.
The Isanti County Historical Society graciously allowed us in a few days early to begin decorating. They even let me use a display case to show off our wedding pictures so that those who weren't able to travel could see what our wedding was like.
We carried our beach theme over into our reception decor. My new sister-in-law, Beth Pettit, (who is conveniently a florist), fashioned three palm trees out of bamboo and palm leaves. Beth also arranged three huge bouquets of pink, lime and yellow roses which we set atop clear glass bowls filled with limes. Exotic leaves ran down the middle of each white tablecloth, and we placed tealights inside limes for an elegant touch (plus it smelled wonderful!).
We served food we'd made ourselves: Jesse's famous ham, Jesse's too-much-butter-and-too-much-sour-cream mashed potatoes and a variety of salads. My mother-in-law recruited help from church to keep the food filled and to bus tables.
The reception spilled outside, where we had hula-hoops, bocce ball and cowboy golf for kids and adults. The band, Artisan, was out on the cabin porch until it started to storm (we're plagued by rain), and then moved indoor in the fastest take-down and set-up of their careers.
Despite some glitches, it was, all-in-all, the wedding we had dreamed of. Nothing is perfect, but it was a great start to our lives together.

-30-


DID YOU KNOW?
1) Destination weddings usually cost less than traditional weddings.

2) The experience can be a fun and relaxing one for you and your guests – if you plan together.

3) A wedding web site can put all the information your guests need in one spot. It also helps keep the friends and family who can't go with in the loop.


WHAT I LEARNED

You can't control the weather. It just might rain – and rain – and rain. So bring a rain jacket, just in case.

You can't control your guests. And if they want a cake and order it themselves, who really cares? Give your aunt a machete to cut the cake with and you'll have your evening entertainment.

The unexpected will always happen. Who would have thought the country would be plunged into a blackout the 12 hours before the ceremony? And with that, the water would go?

Everything works out in the end. What mattered was that we were wed. Everything else was just details.

TIPS
Use a three-ring binder to stay organized. I learned that tip from another bride whose wedding was featured in Wedding Bells two years ago. I tore out or made copies of whatever I thought was interesting and stuck it in the appropriate section.

Don't underestimate the usefulness of your computer. I also found that it was easy to stay organized by filing everything in specific folders on my laptop. Flowers. Photography. Web sites. Minnesota reception. Ceremony. Guests. These were all folder names on my computer. When I found something interesting on a web site, I either pulled off the picture to store it electronically, or made a PDF of the page.

Recruit friends and family to play a role. My aunt fashioned beautiful toasting glasses for us which survived the flight to and fro. Friend Sonya Johnson fashioned my hair into a beautiful updo. Matron-of-honor Amy Pass read a poem during the ceremony. And the guys plus my sister-in-law caught fish for dinner after the ceremony.


USE A WEDDING WEB SITE
Find one that offers the options you want. I knew I wanted to have online RSVP, an online gift registry, guestbook, and option to blog. I wanted to manage my guests and keep their contact information online. I also wanted the ability to broadcast messages to our friends and family. But even more than that I wanted it to be easy to put things on the site, make changes and manage.

Be sure you can add your own custom pages. Especially if you're planning a destination wedding you'll find that many of the pre-made ones don't have the pages you need. I used Wedshare.com and really liked how easy it was to use.

Basic pages include: Include a page on booking details and hotel details. Include information on fun things to do, and add a map, if possible. Let your guests know how to get a passport, and how far in advance they need to apply. Give suggestions on what to pack. Share safe travel tips. List the basics like time zone, currency, language, entry requirements, and what to wear.

Have fun with the site. Add the story about how the two of you met and how he proposed. Write about why you made the decision to have a destination wedding. Share photos of early celebrations, and then post pictures of the wedding.


TRASH THE DRESS
Be inspired. Go to trashthedress.com. The bring copies of the pictures you like to inspire your photographer.

Get a dress you won't feel bad about wrecking. Mine was a white prom dress I got off the shelves at a second hand store.

Consider your undergarments. I assumed that by wearing white, I'd be okay. What I didn't realize was that the dress had built-in nude-colored pads that showed up when wet. Also, the color of the guys' boxers showed up through the linen pants.


GOOD RESOURCES
• "Destination Bride: A complete guide to planning your wedding anywhere in the world" by Lisa Light. Also see her web site: destinationbride.com. Light includes information on weddings across the world, including tips on hotels and wedding traditions.

• Destination Weddings & Honeymoons magazine. The web site has a great forum. See destinationweddingmag.com

• Another great forum can be found at bestdestinationwedding.com/forum/

• Compare the multitude of wedding web sites out there at one easy site: www.weddingwebsites.com

• Eyewitness Travel Guides. Full of photos, these are the easiest travel books to use.